How do you spot a hidden agenda?
Why people have subconscious agendas and how you can work around them
So let’s get it clear what I mean by ‘hidden agenda‘ before we start. What I mean is another person has their own ideas of what could change if your dreams or goals come true. It may be a subconscious thought or wish, but it comes out in their attitude, their words, their actions, and their lack of encouragement.
A hidden agenda could include something like:
- they think their life would change and they don’t want to change
- you might leave and find a better life
- you may not want them anymore
- you may want more from them if you achieve your goals
- they just want to plod along and not interested in achieving anything so don’t want you too either
- they may not understand where you are coming from
- they feel inferior because you seem smarter
- the list is endless.
You can see what I mean though; the ones you love more than likely don’t have a malicious intent and blatant disrespect for you and your ideas, it could be they are not aware how they make you feel or they haven’t consciously thought about how they feel about it themselves. They may seem like they are not listening or make you feel uncomfortable about talking about yourself and what you want to achieve. Sound familiar? If you have talked about to them about your concerns and you still don’t feel you are getting the support you need then it may be time to seek outside help.
- Are you surrounded by friends and family that don’t support your big ideas, goals, and desires?
- Are you tired of getting knocked down every time you talk to someone about what you want to achieve in life?
There is a way to prevent this from happening, besides trying to convince your family or friends you actually are smart enough to make it work. The trick is to only tell those people who are open to listening, don’t have a hidden agenda for helping you achieve your goals, they are not going to steel your ideas because they have ideas themselves and can understand where you are coming from. They want the same things for their life. That’s what our new group sessions are about.